What's more terrifying than witnessing carnivorous pigs eating human bodies to cover up a serial killer's horrible deeds? How about not ever actually seeing that happen, but being told that things like that may be going on in town? If that sounds incomprehensibly stupid, then congratulations, you are not one of the producers of 1972's Pigs. (although in a newly edited version, there are a few pigs to be seen briefly... yay?) Director Marc Lawrence casts his own daughter in a role where she's raped by and murders her own father.. not sure even Freud could unravel those family dynamics.
Travis uses the term "creepy" about 487 times while describing this movie and that amount doesn't do it justice.
Meanwhile, giant radioactive mosquitoes are a minor inconvenience for a desert town of 10 or so uninteresting people. But there is that toymaker guy from Blade Runner (and former Oscar Nominee Michael J Pollard).. so that's something.
Musical Interludes: "Somebody's Waitin' For you" by Charles Bernstein, "Skeeter on my Peter" by John Valby, "Pigs (Three Different Ones)" by Pink Floyd
Yea Chad, we feel you. Re-watching all these old PSAs and horrific drug scare movies gave us a hangover too. And unlike you, we may have had more than a guilty sip of lite beer to get in good with the fat kid and the asian girl at the video store.
Take a trip with us (so to speak) as Pierre and I venture back to the days when drug pushers were just outside every elementary school, Kaybee Toys, and playground jungle gym just waiting to get sub-10 year old suburban white kids hooked on hardcore drugs. Or at least, that's what Nancy Reagan and every cartoon, sitcom, kids show, and anything for little kids ever assumed was happening throughout the 1980s.
This is a long one, but worth it. Also, Pierre swapped out the tin can and string for an actual semi-decent microphone, so enjoy his sultry voice, much in the way Chad Allen enjoyed Louis Gossett Jr's in the Fate Elevator™
Oh and I was wrong, he's totally still alive. My bad.
Musical Interludes: "Right to say No" or "Be an Original" (need to know who performed this, please), "Because I Got High" by Afroman, "Fate Elevator" by Louis Gossett Jr and whatever deranged people wrote it.
Little kids just love a horribly misguided cash-grab movie off a popular trading card. And like most movies for 9 year olds it features: Uncomforable sexual tension, attempted murder by torture and drowning, a creepy middle aged guy hand-bathing a barely-teenage boy, umm.. a look into the competitve world of independent fashion design(?) and of course, nightmare-inducing life-sized puppets. Also.. Peter Dinklage cameo!
Oh man, this one's got it all. A movie so wrong on so many levels it's almost... well.... right. Almost.
Before that we wax nostalgic about the cards themselves, which are much more appealing and appropriate for kids than the movie.
Musical Interludes: "You can be a Garbage Pail Kid" by Jimmy Scarlett and The Dimensions, "Working With Each Other" by the Garbage Pail Kids (robbed at the '87 grammys, IMO), "We Care A Lot" by Faith No More
Witness the work of auteurs who bring together David Naughton, Michael (J) Fox, and Pee Wee Herman in a role that will surprise you. No, I'm not just naming random 80s actors, these 3 and more appear in a true classic of retro absurdity called Midnight Madness. Brought to you by the same people who produced Cinderella, Snow White, and Star Wars Eps. VII-IX, enjoy a wacky comedic romp filled with mute nameless actors, racism, sexism, constant shameless fat jokes, and the greatest line in movie history. Pierre and I have decided this is the most in-depth, comprehensive examination of this movie ever, so yea.. Enjoy as we dissect this film like the rare specimen it is.
Also, if you somehow haven't seen this movie, from the 40:00 mark on are major spoilers, so you're warned.
Musical interludes: "Midnight Madness Theme" from the movie (duh), "Midnight Madness" by The Chemical Brothers